Why Nepalis are so happy

You may not have noticed, but things in Nepal are getting better and better each passing day. Every day in every way, things are improving. And that is mainly because we hit rock bottom, and now there is nowhere to go but up.

The other fantastic aspect of living here is that no matter how bad things get, Nepalis don’t waste their time unnecessarily worrying about it. That is because we know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is another locomotive heading our way.

The Nepal Oil Corruption may have just increased fuel prices even as the cost of a barrel of crude in the international market has come down, but we don’t complain. No sir, it is not in our national character. We just go and fill up our tanks because the grabberment might hike up the price again effective midnight tonight.

Our philosophy is: the situation is soon going to get much worse, so be happy while things are still relatively better. This is why Nepal consistently ranks as the happiest country in South Asia in The World Happiness Index, beating even Bhutan under the reign of His Majesty King Jigme the Overjoyed.

No doubt, social scientists are working on PhDs to determine the scientific basis of what exactly it is that makes us Nepalis such a cheerful lot. But the Ass has his own peer-reviewed conclusions:

• We are not unnecessary risk takers and will elect a prime minister seven times over because the Asstrologer General said so, and even though he (the PM) is a clown.
• We don’t find the overhead tangle of wires at a electricity pole Indra Chok ugly because it shows we are the most wired nation on Earth.
• Nepal has the most holidays in a year of any country in the world. In October we enjoyed two full weeks off — not counting Chhath and weekends. The fact that the Land Registration Office was closed for so long automatically meant we didn’t have to bribe anyone. Nepal also has five Happy New Year Holidays, the highest per capita in the world.
• We always see a silver lining even if there is no dark cloud.
• Whenever we start lamenting that Nepal is the most politically unstable country in the world, we can remind ourselves that Britain just had three prime ministers in three months, and four finance ministers in four months.
• Nepalis will never do today what can be accomplished next week.
• Our problems may seem intractable, but it is reassuring to see that there are bigger problems in the wider world like nuclear annihilation and planet-wide climate collapse.
• Nepalis instinctively know that they would be miserable if there was nothing left to complain about. Thank goodness we have inept leaders, crooked baboodom, stinky rivers, highways that are falling apart. Can’t imagine if everything worked. We would be so depressed.
• Happily, we are just happy to sit around to grumble about how much happier we could be.
• The grass may be greener in Australia, but our grass gives a better high.

Read also: Holier than thou, Ass